Hollywood Assistants like stuff about Hollywood Assistants

I got my first taste of Hollywood assistantship during my time as an intern a few years back. I was still in school, and against my parents wishes and possibly my better judgement, I moved to LA for the summer to be an unpaid intern. Woohoo!

Internships in this industry don't even need the word "unpaid" to proceed them because I have only heard of one paid internship in the whole town (at my company). Job adds for unpaid interns usually read something like this:

"Looking for bright, self-motivated intern to commit at least 20 hours/week. Great opportunity to really get your foot in the door and learn the basics of entertainment industry! Looking for someone with a great sense of humor, ability to multitask, and eagerness to learn. Must receive college credit."

Here is the breakdown of what this really means:

Looking for bright, self-motivated intern---SELF - motivated, not monetarily-motivated

to commit at least 20 hours/week---we will never learn your name for less than 20hrs

Great opportunity---great opportunity for US to get free labor...FREE!!!

to really get your foot in the door---and then right back out, more like dip your toe in the pool because there is no room for you here

and learn the basics of the entertainment industry---you get to listen to us do possibly cool things while you file stuff

!---we are fun and like to use exclamation points!

Looking for someone with a great sense of humor---to make up for our lack there of

ability to multitask---there are a lot of things we don't want to do that you will have to...sometimes more than one at a time

and eagerness to learn---we want you to be enthralled by all of our stories and what goes on here, what we do

Must receive school credit---we don't want to feel bad about not paying you...not that we would...oh yeah, and it's the law

This all sounds very cynical and is probably slightly unfair since I did have a really good time at most of the internships I completed when I was in school. One of them even ended up being such a great experience, I chose it as a career within the industry. I cannot say the others were not worth it because there is no other way I could have felt so comfortable completely eliminating them as career options for myself. The worst and/or most useless thing I had to do as an intern was count the number of trash cans that were scattered about the set of a reality show I was working on. To this day, I don't believe there was a reason for this. If there was, it didn't matter because when I went to report back to my supervisor the information I had so proudly gathered, she was busy and never asked for it in the future.

I guess I tell you all this because the theme of this post is true: Hollywood assistants like things about Hollywood assistants. This notion does not stop with assistants. In fact, this is just where it starts. It just grows and spreads the more years you are a part of it. I am determined to evade this level of self-importance and self-interest (as some are able to do), although I fear this post is not really proving my commitment to that determination.

Perhaps the greatest display of all this and my inspiration for this entry is this blog entitled, "Stuff Hollywood Assistants Like":

http://www.stuffhollywoodassistantslike.com/2008/09/brunch.html

And let me tell you something, it is dead on. I guess that is why it is so funny. It is like watching a gentle/tasteful roast of yourself, funny and strangely enjoyable. And who in LA doesn't enjoy a good episode of "Entourage"? Sure it is good television, but there is something different watching from this perspective.

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On a completely different note, I am on Ron Paul's mailing list, and I got an email from him this afternoon that I wanted to share. This is just a small bit of it, but I thought it was interesting. It is on the economic crisis going on right now:

To combat the depression by a forced credit expansion is to attempt to cure the evil by the very means which brought it about; because we are suffering from a misdirection of production, we want to create further misdirection - a procedure that can only lead to a much more severe crisis as soon as the credit expansion comes to an end... It is probably to this experiment, together with the attempts to prevent liquidation once the crisis had come, that we owe the exceptional severity and duration of the depression.

The only thing we learn from history, I am afraid, is that we do not learn from history.

The very people who have spent the past several years assuring us that the economy is fundamentally sound, and who themselves foolishly cheered the extension of all these novel kinds of mortgages, are the ones who now claim to be the experts who will restore prosperity! Just how spectacularly wrong, how utterly without a clue, does someone have to be before his expert status is called into question?

Oh, and did you notice that the bailout is now being called a "rescue plan"? I guess "bailout" wasn't sitting too well with the American people.

COMING SOON...

Hollywood assistants like...blogs about Hollywood assistants.

rules for being naked in front of strangers

I have been going to the same LA Fitness since January. I go four days a week. As you might expect, there are people I see there on a regular basis. There are the people I feel like I know but have never talked to, people I talk to on occasion but know nothing about personally, and then those that I never necessarily notice. The way people relate at the gym is just fine with me as they mostly keep to themselves, but that is not what this post is about. This is about when people at the gym are all finished with their workouts, when it is time to clean up and get out. This is about "Locker Room Etiquette", or better yet, "Rules for being naked in front of strangers".

RULE #1 DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT: There is plenty of time throughout the day to look someone in the eye, let them know you are strong, confident, and you are a person who knows what she/he wants. The locker room is neither the time nor the place for this. Looking someone in the eye when you are butt-naked is like staring straight at someone's eyes when you both know there is a huge white-head at the tip of their nose. You both know how hard you are trying not to pay attention to what is going on outside of your direct line of vision. It is not that you want to look, but you are intrigued by how different your bodies are, and you wonder whose is more "normal".

RULE #2 ...OR CONTACT OF ANY KIND: Do not touch anyone, anywhere. Hand to shoulder, shoulder to shoulder, and so on are all inappropriate when one or both people are lacking coverage in the locker room. Sense of touch is simply heightened the less clothes each party is wearing.

RULE #3 DO NOT BE A BEAR: Bears are hairy. If you happened to share this quality with them, you should reconsider "baring" all.

RULE #4 KEEP QUIET: Contrary to scenes in movies and TV shows, locker rooms are not places to make friends and influence people. They simply provide a way for you to leave the gym clean and ready for the workday without the trip home to take a shower. Nothing you say to someone in the locker room translates into real life with any sense of normality so don't waste your breath...or more importantly anyone else's.

Sammy Days

It was brought to my attention by, well, me that my last post had a lot of simple errors. This is why it now appears as a new post in case any of you loyal readers were confused.

HAPPENINGS: I got a chance to catch the last half of the Gator football game this weekend. It was a fun time at our dear friends, Brian and Sue's, apartment. There we were, four UF alumni and a dog named Three-Hole Punch, cheering on our Gators from the opposite side of the country. I felt like I was back in Gainesville for a little bit, and it was nice. Three-Hole Punch peed twice in the apartment that night. I think she was just really happy about the win, and so were we.

I slept till 1:30 PM today, something I have not accomplished in a long time, possibly since high school when I would often take what my brother and I refer to as "Sammy Days" (much needed and deserved self-appointed days off or half-days from school which I suddenly feel the need to go into further later in this post). I am not sure. I cannot specifically recall the last time this happened. It was shocking and strange to see those numbers on the clock. Immediate feelings included disgust and shame, which later in the day slowly turned into self-satisfaction and ultimately pride. This might explain why I am still awake and writing this blog at midnight when I have work tomorrow.

Oh Sammy Days! In case you don't know me very well, "Sammy" comes from my last name and was a nickname that my brother and I both had in our respective high school years (although him more than I). Some people didn't even know my brother's name was Brian (since everyone called him Sam so much), while Sammy was mostly just the name people called me when I was playing sports since it was easier to say than my full last name when I was getting yelled at on the court/field. Anyway, the Sammy Day was invented by him sometime around 9th grade. I believe it was officially named years later, closer to when I would begin to use it as my own. A Sammy Day would be taken when stress began to build at school. In high school, my brother (who is four years older than me) and I both played almost every sport, we participated in lots of extra curricular activities, and we both made good grades. I don't remember what time school started, but I remember having to wake up at about 6:20 AM every morning (and I did NOT primp...I cannot stress that enough). There were mornings when I would wake up and be in the car in under a minute. With a busy schedule, late nights socializing, and staying late at sports practices/games, I would need breaks. Here is how it would work for my brother for his four years and then for me for my mine:

NIGHT BEFORE: Tell mom I am really tired, and not really feeling well. It didn't take much. We always knew she understood that we were taking on a lot, and we were smart enough not to let it affect our grades.

REALLY LATE NIGHT BEFORE: Make sure mom calls the school office. My mom is from Puerto Rico, and in case you don't know, that means she stays up really late. She would call the office and say I would not be coming to school the next day. This ensured that no questions would be asked since no one was there to take the call. Also, the late night phone call would make it sound more convincing, like I really was sick.

DAY OF: Sleep as long as possible. I think my record was 3:00 PM. Usually it was more like noon. I would eat some yummy food, watch daytime TV, maybe take a trip to the DQ down the street. It was never time wasted. I really made it a point to actually relax and savor the time I had that no one else did. It was almost like I need to take time off when no one else could or else I would always be tempted to be a part of whatever else was going on.

AFTER SCHOOL: I would definitely make it in if there was a practice of some sort, but if there was nothing going on, I would maybe go to the gym and work off the DQ before I grabbed some dinner.

A Sammy Day was never taken on a test day and certainly never taken on the day of a game (since you were not allowed to play if you were not there for at least half of the day). I probably averaged about one or two Sammy days each month. This may seem like a lot, but it felt perfect to me. My grades never suffered, and I was always rested if I really needed to be. It may sound irresponsible of my parents to allow something like this, but I think they just really knew what we needed, and I would be happy to work something like this out with my kids someday. If I change my mind about this, however, I may erase this blog.

THOUGHTS: We got to talking about cruises. Are they a good idea and why? I think there is much to be said on both ends.

Pro Cruise:
*cheap
*all-inclusive
*relaxing
*the ports
*tropical drinks (acceptable for men as well exclusively on cruises, e.g. Chris Ramenda and his pina coladas)
*unlimited food
*hot tubs

Cons for cruising:
*not being able to get off the boat
*boredom at times
*cheesy 80's decorations (mostly on Carnival Cruises)
*touristy port stops - rare to get in any real exploration
*terrible comedians
*sharing dinner table with people you don't know
*general lack of choice and interesting things to see/do

I think it just depends what you are going for. I have been on a few cruises in the past few years, each a very different type of experience. I have been with my family and also with my friends. While neither time felt similar to the other, they were both enjoyable. It would be a challenge to pay for a vacation of the same length and enjoyability with the money it took to pay for one of these cruises. However, it can be argued that they are not always the most memorable or enlightening types of vacations. I have been on weekend trips in California that I remember more clearly than the actual locations/food/activities from cruising. Anyway, I am finished talking about this. I don't even get vacation until I have been working at my new job for a year. What is the use?

not so restless

As it seems, this new job thing has gotten in the way of my blogging. However, I think there is still hope for it considering the fact that this is a new post.

HAPPENINGS: I like my job. I have learned a lot so far, and I am not having trouble imagining myself staying here for at least the year they require of new assistants. It is not as similar to my old job as I thought it would be, but that is neither a good nor a bad thing. It is just different, and I am enjoying the things I am getting out of it so far.

Also:
1. I think I found a new apartment. I will be moving in a few weeks.
2. I am newly addicted to coffee, particularly McDonald's sugar-free vanilla iced
3. I am doing something super-fun this weekend

TIPS: I cooked a meal in a crock pot yesterday. It was quite possibly the best thing we have ever made, and I don't even feel like we "made" anything. We just threw things into a pot. It was chicken and sausage paella, and it was so delicious. If you want to try it, sear 2 lbs of chicken (drumsticks, thighs, breasts) in a frying pan in a couple tbsp of olive oil then throw the chicken, 8 oz of cooked turkey sausage (or whatever kind) in a slow cooker. Then pour in a 1/2 c of water and a can of low sodium chicken broth. Top it with 3 cloves of minced garlic, a whole chopped onion, 2 tsp thyme, 1/2 tsp black pepper, 1/4 and cumin. Set the cooker on "low" for about 8 hours. In the last 5 minutes throw a package (or 3/4 package) of frozen peas, a chopped yellow pepper and two chopped Roma tomatoes on top. I think that is it. Serve over saffron rice (or whatever kind you want). Sooooo yummy.

THOUGHTS: I would first like to make it clear that I am definitely not voting for McCain. I don't really feel the need to explain. It would just be a terrible idea. However, I don't know about this Obama thing. I don't like the hype surrounding the guy. Obviously, the more logical reason I will probably not be voting for him is I disagree with about %80 of his political stances. I do like some things about him, but nothing I would ever base a vote on. Mainly, my problem is people's unconditional approval of him is annoying and much of the time undeserving. I am not saying all or even most Obama supporters are this way, but I think anyone will admit that he has more blind followers than anyone I have ever seen. I don't like the idea someone who may very well be the next president of this country has a sort of "can do no wrong" image with so many people. I do have to say I prefer him to Hilary for no other reason than I don't think I can take one more speech about the poor dying single mother she met on the campaign trail, the soldier that asked her to take care of him when he ships out the next morning, and the little boy that tugged on her monochromatic suit and asked her for health care for his mommy with diabetes. Do these people really exist? If so, I call on these people to reveal themselves. Also, when she speaks, she always sounds like she is yelling at me. Maybe she never understood the purpose of a microphone. As for me and my house...Bob Barr 2008.

Blessed

I am in Florida right now. I just had my daily bowl of oatmeal and a cup of coffee, something I do everyday. However, this time I have my awesome family running around my parents house in Tampa, and I couldn't be happier. Since moving away, time with them is more rare and special than it's ever been before. I don't take one moment or even the fact that I have this family that I love so much for granted. Christy and Becky are also stopping by in a few minutes to say hello before I leave to the airport. As far as I am concerned, this is a great day.